Drop the list- you choose
We live in a culture of accomplishments and pride in our busyness. Especially with women there is a measurement of our success from how much we do for others. We can’t take up too much space, too much time for ourselves, or look too good or watch out. Hilariously, the alternate is also true. You can’t gain too much weight, look too distressed, or like you have completely lost it either. You have to be the right amount of put together while also having an endless to do list and complain about not having time for yourself. Hmmmmmmm.
Catching up with friends and neighbors can feel like a long to do list or everything that a family is doing. Organizing time together can often feel like a ridiculous scheduling chore in between all the things that have to get done. The kids have baseball, music, the holiday play, and and and and and. There usually isn’t a list of things you chose not to do or the quiet moments enjoyed in between, or their job! Women don’t usually brag about how they chose NOT to drive their kids to an activity or how they hired a sitter so that they could take some time for themselves and not just to go to Target. How they didn’t volunteer and make organic, fair trade, allergen free, homemade treats for the whatever next school event. How they kicked butt in their careers and are creating change in their community. Their families take front and center, or even worse they don’t even exist and aren’t mentioned. They have somehow disappeared and only their kids now exist and are loving their latest 15 activities.
This year seems to put a pause on the long list of busyness that I find completely refreshing. The holiday cards this year seem to put survival as the measurement of success. I hope as we step into a new year we can choose what to fill our days and our new year with. I hope that instead of creating a long list of things we have done we can be proud of the things that matter most to us. As a woman, mother, and business owner I also hope that I see other woman proudly taking up space. Your kids are cute and all, but take some credit for what you have done and not just for others. I hope at the next catch up I can hear more about what YOU have been up to and not the self-sacrifice, endless to do list, or why you can’t seem to find time for yourself.
I am challenging myself to step out of the busyness and one up each other conversation. To leave behind the conversation about how there isn’t time for me and how busy I am. To speak out about how I am in control of my time & energy. I decide how to spend it on the things that matter most to me and my family. As life heads back into something more like it once was I hope I can choose what I would like to bring back and leave out the conversations and messages that aren’t working.