Food Freedom

Food and I have had a love hate relationship. I love it and then I would hate/shame/guilt myself. I used to feel so alone in this. I am always amazed to hear how many of my clients have a tricky relationship with food, disordered eating, or downright hate their body.

If any of this rings true for you… you are not alone. It is so heartbreaking to hear and I have so been there. I remember an awareness in high school of how fat I was. I was around a size 6 and swam for hours a day on the swim team. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of my body. This is when food became my best friend and a hidden heavy chain I would carry along for years.

I tried every pill, signed up for every program, and bought every product. I knew each time that this was it. I would magically transform in the course of days into this hypothetical ideal version of myself. Days in I would inevitably fail. It was because there was something wrong with me. If I only had more discipline, more motivation, or more will power it would have worked. In the wake of my failure I would set off on a binge, shame, and self-hatred bender.

Looking back this makes me so sad. How much time I have wasted hating myself, my body, and feeling so alone in it all. I was so young and in so much pain.

Today this is just a faint whisper. A vague memory of who I once was. Sometimes in a pandemic, with 3 kids home, while trying to run my holistic health business I use food as comfort or eat past satisfied. There are some weeks I order too much take away and have too many glasses of wine. I am okay with a swing in my weight and the roundness of my belly in a season where space for myself doesn’t seem to exist. I know it isn’t about food or weight.

I also know how to bring myself back, slow and steady, to what works for me. I don’t need extremes. I don’t need to punish, restrict, or dive into any diet or program. I step back into caring for myself and nourishing my body. I know what foods work for me. The food that nourishes me and fuels my body.

I have food freedom to not need it to fill my empty spaces and also allow myself to nourish and savor food because I love it. I have grace and compassion for myself when sometimes I loose myself and then lovingly bring myself back.

I can enjoy a vacation or eating out without needing a cheat day or needing to start anything tomorrow because this is my life. After a couple of days of eating out and having wine at night I start craving smoothies and veggies. I don’t have to force myself back into anything. I don’t want to drink anymore because I want a good night of sleep and I know how fantastic and resilient I feel the next day. I don’t need more rich heavy food because I am ready to feel light and energized again.

Women are taught to look outside themselves. That we are not to be trusted with our own bodies, desires or cravings. The solution is something outside ourselves. The next supplement, program, or diet trend is the answer.

Food freedom is possible. No counting or weighing required. Your body is wise. Feeling good in your body is possible.

If you are feeling confused, alone, or stuck in a rut reach out for a free 30 minute mini coaching session and let’s get you started on your journey towards food freedom.