Go again
I am continually drawn to the image above. There is something about this season that just feels like I am in battle training mode. I never thought that becoming a health coach, starting a business, during a pandemic, all while distance learning would be easy. This, however, somehow feels like the universe is giving me the ultimate test again and again and again.
I don’t know about you, but it feels like I get things figured out, get my nose above the water and then whooooosh I am pulled under yet again. Sometimes my ego and fear jump in and are kind enough to remind me “Who are you to guide people? You’re so not perfect. You didn’t make a home cooked meal 3x today and you stress drank a hot toddy.” They are actually a lot meaner than that, they are really big jerks. They usually come out when I am tired , my kids have interrupted my work time for the 37th time about who knows what, or I haven’t prioritized myself.
I will tell you something. Shhhhhh don’t tell anyone else. Here it is. I am not perfect. When I remember to kick ego and fear out, because they are seriously big jerks, here is what I remember. I am really good at my job. I love my job. I keep showing up because I love it and believe so deeply in what I am doing. I am not perfect and I learn every time because of it. I get up early, I stay up late, and I have given up so much of my free time and fun because I am committed and determined. This is temporary even though it may seem like it will never end.
I used to get knocked down, pitch a camp and stay there endlessly. I would re-tell my sad stories filled with blame, that I could do nothing about it, or even better that it was someone else’s fault.
Then I figured out that it wasn’t that I was never going to get knocked down ever again. It was about standing back up again and again and again. I am so much stronger and more resilient now AND this is hard.
If you are feeling knocked down. Pause. Stay down for a minute and acknowledge that this is hard. Look around and feel it for a minute. Then when this feeling passes ask yourself what you need. What do you really need? Rest, friendship, nourishment, pleasure, or a good cry. Give yourself what you truly need and try again. You have the power to get back up again.